Bishopsfinger 12:23 Tue Mar 31
What is something about yourself..
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that sounds made up but is 100% real?
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Replies - In Chronological Order ( Show Newest Messages First)
gank
12:47 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I once fucked an old granny
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bruuuno
12:50 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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See the job thread
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Pagey
12:56 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I once watched gank fuck an old man thinking that he was a granny
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DiCaniosLefty
12:58 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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ag ag ag Pagey!
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Pee Wee
1:51 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I showed Marc-Vivian Foé the way to The Boleyn the day he signed. He followed me there from Stratford.
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Fortunes Hiding
1:53 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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There were three blokes in a pub drinking and sat together, I’d slept with all their wives.
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Ronald_antly
1:55 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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That was a typo by gank.
He meant 'tranny'.
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Pee Wee
1:56 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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We’re they your brother-in-laws?
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gph
2:34 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I once saved the planet by fighting off the Predators despite being unarmed, who then flew off to their home world having decided that the Earth was too hard.
Oh, that's 100% made up, but sounds real...
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Alfs
3:30 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I murdered this prostitute because she laughed at my dick. It was cold, FFS. The bitch should have had a heater or an electric blanket or SOMETHING.
So I sliced her into tiny pieces and gradually fed them to my budgie.
It took nearly thirty years but that very nasty woman has now been devoured.
As a precaution, I boiled the bones to extract all of the marrow and then....
Oh, hang on. This is a trap, isn't it? You sneaky, sneaky cunt!
My budgie died, you know? Feeling good about your self now? You're a disgrace.
Anyone else coping well with this isolation malarkey. A breeze, INNIT?!
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Peckham
8:34 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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The season Real Madrid won their La Undécima, 11th Champions league win, I sat every home game at the Bernabeu pitch side with a press camera bib and a camera I didn´t have a clue how to use.
Used to play table football with Iker Casillas in his bar, but more so mates with his fit Mrs.
As a kid went on holiday with Phil Parkes, Tony Gale and Alvin Martin and met Sr Trev the same week.
An ex bird left me for Steve Bould and his money, only to be treated like shit by him and finding him a complete bully.
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smasher.
10:19 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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This rich slag Holly threw a house party after we left school. Right fucking rocket she was, and her parents were fucking minted and had a lovely drum in Woodford.
I got the sexy little cunt fucked up on cocaine and vodka and within hours I had her in her parents bedroom smashing it to bits.
They had a huge bookshelf above the bed, you know, full of encyclopaedias, autobiographies etc... hundreds of them.
Anyway, i dropped my fat and she went into the en-suite to clean up. I didn't have a fucking clue what to do with the condom but decided to choose a random book, open it up at a random page and slap the condom in it. BOSH, closed the book and put it back.
Someone will read that book one day.
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chim chim cha boo
10:38 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I was once in a pub where it was elbow room only, absolutely rammed.
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only1billybonds
10:40 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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When i was 18 i slept with twin sisters ( 4 months) apart. 6 months after finishing with twin #2,i slept with their nympho Mum.
This will feature in any 'your best hat trick' threads of the future.
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Exiled In Surrey
11:04 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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Back in the day, Trevor Brooking cut the ribbon to open my dad's mate's butchers shop on a council estate in Hutton.
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Tomshardware
11:07 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I poo'd my pants at secondary school. (Diarrhoea)
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Sniper
11:15 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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I met Jimmy Saville and whilst waiting to chat to him his security guard told my dad to watch out as ‘he doesn’t like children very much’
He also didn’t try to touch me, which gives you an idea of how much of a looker I was/am
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Sarge
11:20 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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Miss world gave me her phone number 2 days after she was crowned
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Worst Case Ontario
11:46 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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only1billybonds
How were they twins if they were 4 months apart?
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Mike Oxsaw
11:51 Tue Mar 31
Re: What is something about yourself..
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Back in the late 70s, I dated a Page 3 girl for a few months without having a clue who she was or what she did.
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